If Pakistani women did honour killing, there'd be no men left - Maria Toorpakai Wazir Pakistan's squash champion

Apr 01 2016 : The Times of India (Chennai) Q & A - `If Pakistani women did honour killing, there'd be no men left ... a real man is always a feminist'   Maria Toorpakai Wazir is Pakistan's top squash champion, ranked world number 54 ­ who spent years disguised as a boy pursuing sports in Waziristan, defying tribal elders ­ and the Taliban.Speaking with Srijana Mitra Das, Wazir , author of A Different Kind of Daughter , discussed what helped her brave death threats, why sports is vital for women ­ and what men really fear:You've struggled against brutal orthodoxies ­ why do men fear independent women so much? Pakistan's society is very male-dominant.From childhood, they're taught a strong man is one who instils fear in women, that God created women to be obedient ­ there are no examples or education to show otherwise. If women become aware, they start fighting for their rights ­ and men lose their power, obviously something they don't want. So, they reinforce the status quo. Most feel insecure before a strong woman, which is wrong. A real man always empowers a woman ­ and is a true feminist from his core. Fighting against the status quo is incredibly hard, as my father's story shows you. People called him crazy ­ they locked him up for his forwardthinking ideals. But now, we're seeing more and more fathers supporting their daughters, using us as examples. Once, they called my father crazy ­ now, they ask him for advice. Change is coming. Disguised as a boy athlete, what did you notice about men ­ do they think very differently from women? I've felt and lived like a boy ­ and a girl. It was eye-opening.Today , i know how society works on both sides. One of the biggest insights was to understand why men fear for their daughters, wives and sisters ­ they are well aware of themselves and their fellow men's mentality and behaviour, so they fear the outside world means bad things, rape, molestation, etc.Women are an embodiment of their honour ­ they must keep them safe. But if men could be trusted to act respectably, women would always be safe. Men make the environment honourable or dishonourable ­ if Pakistani women began honour killing, there'd be no men left. Disguised as a boy, you were almost molested by a mullah ­ is the sexual exploitation of boys not discussed enough? This is definitely true. It happens a lot. Boys are free to leave home ­ it makes them as vulnerable as girls. All around Pakistan, boys are sent out to provide for their families. They become vulnerable. This grave issue isn't spoken of enough. People consider it bad for their honour, so they prefer hiding it. Much more awareness must be spread among kids and parents. Governments should formulate stringent child protection laws ­ with effective implementation. Child labour must also be banned ­ it's the state's responsibility to put children in schools and provide alternative income sources to their families. Why don't South Asians let their Why don't South Asians let their daughters play sports like boys? Sports are liberating ­ for the same reasons they don't want them educated, they don't want them liberated through sports. My father was an advocate for women's rights. He wanted change in society ­ he started that change from his own family . Against resistance, he supported me. But sports isn't considered suitable for girls in our society ­ it's considered a waste of time even for boys. However, sports channels energies. It eliminates wildness ­ sports makes a nation positive. Have you met Malala Yousafzai ­ could you both return to Pakistan? I haven't met Malala, i can't comment on her situation ­ for me, Pakistan's where i was born. It's home. It needs a lot of work. Our region is so behind the rest of the world. I often go back to Pakistan and the tribal regions. I have a vision i'm working towards through the Maria Toorpakai Fund ­ we're currently building a medical facility for Waziristan's women and children. I love my home ­ even if i die there, it'll be a happiness. After threats, harassment and exclusion, you thank those who tried to stop you ­ why? I learnt from them. When you try to do good or pursue change, it's difficult.It's hard for people to accept change ­ and i got a lot of resistance. But it brought me closer to God and myself, made me spiritual and taught me about humanity . I couldn't have found myself as i am today ­ without this resistance.